I found the Stargate
Honey Bear was watching his favorite science show stargate and has always been facinated by the idea of stepping into a wormhole and into a whole new world. Honey Bear realizes that the show has been fictionalized against true accounts of American exploration of other dimensions, but it still makes the idea of wormhole exploration a possibility for the Common Bear.

So, this morning, as Honey Bear was clipping his pubic hairs and shaving his taint, he noticed something in the mirror.

Something brown. And hole-like.

It must be a stargate.

At first, Honey Bear was puzzled. How could anything so obvious be a wormhole to another dimension? Honey Bear couldn't have been the only one to discover the brown stargate?

Or could he?

Honey Bear got in the shower, letting the warm water run down his back and dilate his stargate. He was successfully able to insert his middle finger about 2 joints into the gate for exploration, taking notes in his mind of what this other dimension was like. It was warm, and it was sticky - there must not be much of an atmosphere here to support mammalian life. He probed further, pondering whether this new place supported simple organisms. After a 45 minutes of probing, he removed his finger from the stargate and decided to send an armored car in.

After his Hot Wheels Brinks Security Truck made it in, he had lost radio contact. Strange, Honey Bear thought. Electromagnetic radiation seems to be impenetrable past the
gate. After a harrowing 3 hours, all the passengers of the truck made it safely out of the gate, albeit slightly dirty. The mud samples were later taken to a lab for analysis.